Goals & Reflection

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My goals for this post-bac were to further develop my knowledge on overglaze, share that information with the world (you!), and incorporate that research into a body of work to go into my first solo show, IN THE FLESH. The development of IN THE FLESH's pieces were a product of quick decision making as deadlines approached fast - I worked with the hardware nails and explored rhythmic compositions on oil paintings and bio-leather installation sculptures to depict my reflections with grief.  This is a work in progress still - I find myself magnetized towards the hardware nail, and oil painting is a place I always feel safe in. More paintings and compositions are to come.

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Learning & Process

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Regarding materials and process, I found the repetitive act of making hundreds of nails incredibly enjoyable. Being able to say that I made each nail by scratch gives each nail so much more emotional and physical value. Even when I complained about drilling hundreds of holes into my paintings, it was more of my deadline stress talking than my actual enjoyment. Drilling holes into paintings to pierce with nails is a very emotional process - these paintings are of flesh after all. Even carving the paintings on the band saw gave me a taste of sculpture that isn't just ceramics. I used to love wood, paper, and foam sculpting, but my drive to create my ceramic and oil work have taken over right now. I think the carving of the canvases gives me an excuse to engage with sculpture much closer than I had in a long time. 

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Risk, Change, & Self-Evaluation
 

​Obviously the risk of creating work for a solo show in a little over three months sounds insane. When you add the fabrication of over two thousand nails, painting multiple paintings, and making bio leather for the first time, you might think to yourself: "is she insane?"

Yes!

As I read through my old notes I wrote to myself post-breakup and photos of times when I still had something I now no longer possess, I got extremely emotional. Yes, from missing the things I once had, but also because it was amazing that I got to experience it all. I was able to experience having two amazing childhood pets that died within a month of each other. I was able to experience my first relationship. I was able to experience friendships I thought were stronger than super glue. I took these reflections of my life and explored how that grief manifested as in my body, my gut, my head, my heart. I faced these experiences head on and created a body of work that translated that feeling into something physical. Yeah, there could've been more pieces, yeah, there could've been a stronger push into the oil paintings, but for now they're resolved, in emotion and physicality. 

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Reflection & Next Steps

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How else can grief manifest as? Current ideas floating through my brain as I continue on my journey of exploring grief, love, and loss:

barbed wire, pebbles & glass, bird wings, polaroids hanging from your bedroom wall, bear traps, bio leather acting as human skin - shattered

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Join me at Patina Gallery in Indianapolis to continue to see my explorations in material!

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